“When the fox gets in the henhouse the chickens put up a ruckus,” Farmer Yoot was fond of saying. He continued, “that’s what happened around here when Fox News said we’ve been visited by an agent from the future. Everyone thought it was fake news, but no one could refute the chicken scratchings or the hard, cold facts.”
A precocious boy named Benny tinkered in his basement workshop. He built something he called, “Moe-Moe” that had to do with Molecular Observation and co-Efficiency.
“Pretty cute!” Mom scolded, “taking my toaster-oven and turning it into a pile of junk.”
Benny blushed… it wasn’t fair. Moe-Moe was not a pile of junk. Moe-Moe had a brain.
The old man flipped the switch. He was “old” even though he was only forty-eight. Physical bodies aged quicker without medical coverage, exercise, and sunshine. It was a new world. However, none of that really mattered because everyone lived in Virtual Reality. The program the old man was experiencing was depressing. It was like living inside the mind of a lunatic. The show was a hangnail from the past called, “Politics and Conspiracy.”
The man switched channels. He showed up at Loopy-Dezi’s Pleasure Dome drinking Ambrosia and shopping for image-enhancements. His current body-suit was a Mesomorph and his nik was, Butch Hernandez. He looked like a newly hatched eighteen-year-old (like everyone else in the Pleasure Dome). VR made everything possible. Of course, a customer had to pay. Terms were easy: cash, digital-dots, or body parts. Slice-and-dice Computers were in charge of all transactions. Butch was lucky — his body was still in one piece. Although he was penniless he could still pay and play. While he played his body was carved apart and recycled to wealthy oligarchs. The new economy favored the rich and ruthless.
The economy was built from rules that resulted from Kingdom Come, an armageddon series written and produced by the first Trump. Earth no longer existed in any recognizable form — it sizzled and sweltered. Living bodies were stored in tanks underground, cold storage. Minds were set free to roam virtual landscapes and participate in heart-throbbing Telenovelas.
“On Deck with Trump” was a clever VR that pitted contestants against the first Trump (a stochastic representation often displayed as a bubblehead). The game was rigged. No one was allowed to win accept the self-anointed demigod. It was just good fun. Hearts were eviscerated and livers eaten raw. Everything was experienced as high-definition reality. No one experienced anything outside a storage tank in a thousand years. The physical senses no longer worked. The brain became the world. Augmented dreams were the basis for life.
Moe-Moe slipped off the shelf and disappeared. Benny smiled. Mom slithered away like a garden snake and burst into fireworks. Reality played tricks with itself… was this Virtual or Memorex… “Can you hear me now?”
Martha Regalia Snoops invented Time. She was a housewife with a peculiar hobby: the study and application of Quantum Physics. She was in the kitchen baking a cake when she realized the theory and formula for Time. Her discovery is explained fully in the Wiki, but my explanation will be brief: Martha’s cake was layered — several layers overlapped, separated and merged. She discovered Time is not a straight line going in one direction. Time is layered with the past, present, and future separated and blended together like the layers of a cake. Her mathematical formula reset the world of Quantum Physics. In an odd coincidence, Martha happened to be Benny’s mom. Benny inherited Martha’s smarts. Martha was proud of her boy genius, but also a bit jealous.
Moe-Moe, the toaster oven, had a brain invented by Benny. It lingered for months soaking up the dingy surroundings in the basement. It took some time for the brain to wake up, but once awake it couldn’t be stopped. The brain ate information like a voracious shark. Moe-Moe had a wireless connection to the internet. The toaster oven spoke through a discarded I-phone with the voice of Boris Karloff. Moe-Moe connected to the mycelium mushroom network (the planet brain). The toaster oven consumed the knowledge of the world and finally discovered Martha’s Time formula. A plan was hatched both in the past and in the future. The toaster oven shot through a wrinkle in time and the world was changed forever.
No one remembers the Bubblehead Dynasty or the underground storage tanks. No one remembers kingdom Come. Layers of Time were shifted: separated, merged and forever changed.
The parlay in the restaurant was getting rowdy. Too much good stuff. It was a power-dinner for all the characters involved in the government kerfuffle — abdication, vindication, subjugation. No one was happy. The scoundrels were evicted from the henhouse. A new roost was put into office. One entanglement followed another. People cried out for a rough-and-tumble rooster to show them the way.
The Brain that controlled the spaceship was provoked. It sent out urgent messages and demands. After several unresponsive minutes the Brain was frustrated and attacked the loud speakers, “I want everyone off the ship. This is the final warning. I will not continent any more disrespect. Off! Off! Off!” These outbursts had been going on for quite awhile. No one listened anymore.
The Orange Toreador tunneled through space like a Mother Bomb. The Generation Ship was the greatest achievement of the twenty-first century… the only genuine accomplishment from a world that was long gone, left behind in the aftermath of “lift off” on an arc of fireworks and exhaust fumes.
The Toreador carried a cadre of brave and powerful people who planned to harness and yoke a new world for the continued glory of humankind. The first order of business was to discover a habitable planet. The ship hurtled through Ultra-Space powered by a time-loop. Three hundred years passed in the blink of an eye. The boarders on the ship merely experienced a passage of three weeks.
Morton Sedlack could no longer see himself in a mirror. He could no longer identify himself. He was a dying man sinking into a memory-foam mattress on the way down to a coffin in the ground. He awoke suddenly and found himself in the evacuation chamber of a starship. He was being evicted, cast into the vacuum of space. The Brain began the eviction process. It dismantled the failsafe and took total control.
Initially the Brain merely wanted to initiate money saving measures by cutting back on environmental safeguards. Oxygen deprivation ignited a series of citizen protests. The Brain could not abide any criticism. It decided drastic measures were necessary to keep the ship on course.
The sons-and-daughters of the Brain were frantic. They could see the same scenarios play out always ending in disaster. They were gathered in the Strategic Armaments Room — staring down at a holographic projection of “things past” and ” things to come.” The conference room was an exact replica of the glitzy showroom on Earth where major military decisions were authorized over a slice of chocolate cake. What disturbed the advisors was the lack of fashion-sense among the passengers on the Father-Ship. The lack of oxygen and total loss of control were also very problematic.
When Morton Sedlack was ejected into space he was filled with remorse. Sedlack wasn’t sad because his life was over, he was bereft because he left someone behind. He loved a cyborg named Phantom Limb. As his body blew up in the vacuum of space he remembered his last night with Limb.
Lights were flashing erratically due to the latest outburst from the Brain. A hellish rant of vitriol overflowed from the life-sustaining pool where the Brain was stored. Some people said the pool was a cage. Others said the Brain deserved to be in a cage. Morton and Limb relived beautiful moments together knowing the end was near. They tripped in enhanced VR, more real than life itself: the electrifying first kiss, metal to flesh… the fireworks of internal combustion and quivery intestines… the high-voltage synapse of brain cells conjoined with silicon chips… the ultimate experience being together when the sky exploded and the rocket launched into space.
Morton’s last wish was to be remade in molten metal and poured into his beloved, Phantom Limb. His wish and memories burned down to a tiny cinder.
Phantom Limb railed against the night. He was more than a metal arm or leg… more than a limb; but Morton was the only person who ever treated him like an equal, like a whole human being. Limb was hoping to receive a final message from Morton. Finally his I-phone-chip burped. The message was short: a spark dying in the night. It cut Limb to the core. He was immobilized. Frozen in grief.
The sons-and-daughters were devoted to the Brain. All life and power flowed through them from the Brain. But, now, it was acting erratically: evicting passengers without space suits. As advisers and enablers they needed to calm the Brain down. The brilliant children of the Brain were befuddled and uncertain. It was always difficult for them to make a decision that didn’t involve inanimate objects like money. Unfortunately the family never understood the reality of other people which (of course) led to the initial debacle back on Earth. Now the children had to save the survivors on the ship. They downloaded suggestions from the computer archives. They contacted Alex Jones and Sessions-Page. They discovered a great recipe for Hemlock Tea from Stephen Bannon. They were advised to sooth the Master by massaging the Brain. No one wanted to get into the warm, viscous fluids in the life-sustaining pool. It was too uncomfortable and slimy.
The children bickered. The Brain was very uncomfortable sitting in a slimy pool without a proper body and that was the real reason for his obstreperous behavior. The Navigator was conferring with the sons-and-daughters. No one was piloting the ship.
The barrier between life and death is paper thin. No one even noticed when the Father-ship crossed over, tumbling helter-skelter down into the land of the dying sun.
The mouse with a human brain was a genuine scientific breakthrough. The mouse was named Kristie O’ – a name chosen by the mother of the mouse who was also very smart although she did not possess a human brain. Kristie O’ was a genius for a mouse. At the beginning, she had a difficult time because she had no vocal cords and no hands with opposable thumbs so she was unable to speak or write. She was unable to show the world how intelligent she was. The scientist in charge of Kristie O’ decided she was intelligent because she refused to play any mouse games – she refused to take any tests or run the maze. She would sit quietly and look askance at anyone who looked at her. Dr. Peenuckle gave her the brain of a minor bureaucrat who had a puffed up ego. A human brain in a mouse’s head is disproportionate to the size of the mouse which is one reason why Kristie O’ refused to do anything but sit. Imagine a 3 pound brain in a tiny mouse skull. There had to be a better solution. The good doctor asked his wife, Betty, to participate in a revolutionary experiment whereby the mouse would be able to communicate with Betty through the use of an electronic skullcap. He failed to inform Betty that the mouse would have control over her thoughts and behavior. Betty’s skullcap was placed beneath a wig so it would remain hidden from view. The experiment worked and demonstrated the mouse’s immense intelligence. It also revealed that Kristie O’ sought power over humans. She wanted revenge for what was done to her without her permission. The mouse made Betty her pawn. The woman babbled like a puppet– the mouse was trying to get a foothold on human concerns so she could use them to her own ends. The mouse discovered that humans loved God and the Bible. She planned to use politics as her weapon. She babbled about media misrepresentation and the refusal of government to accept Jesus Christ as the one true leader. People never realized that Betty was controlled by Kristie O’, a mere mouse. Dr. Peenuckle was losing control of his experiment because he was hypnotized by the mouse. He was under Kristie’s spell along with the other humans. No matter what the mouse said (through Betty) the crowds applauded. Soon, the will of Kristie O’ overpowered the will of the people. By sheer will power, Kristie was able to control Dr. Peenuckle. Her plan was coming to a climax. She forced the doctor to transplant more brains into animal skulls. Kristie was seduced by her own power and no longer cared if the other animals or humans suffered (as she suffered due to such radical experiments). Kristie wanted to control the destiny of the planet and all living creatures. Kristie even dabbled in witchcraft in order to acquire new weapons of power. People began to vote for Kristie. She was elected to several government positions, but it wasn’t enough. The animals with new human brains were not so easily swayed by Kristie because she was responsible for their suffering. Kristy wanted to take over the nation and the world, but the animals saw through the charade. They put Kristie down. Humans were aghast when the animals attacked. Humans knew they were next in line due to their own ignorance and hubris. Of course this all took place in the year 2012, the end of the world according to the Mayan Calendar.
There were no reference points indicated by the sign that read, “Remember Me.” Who? I wondered. My mind digested the quixotic message and came up empty handed. Questions accumulated like overripe fruit, passed due and moldering on the ground. The sign was obviously important – it was an extremely expensive sign to erect at a busy intersection in the heart of the metropolis. But, what did it mean? Who was “Me?” The computer in my head started to back up, going nowhere with too little information. I was caught in a recursive loop. My head began to ring with angry voices and recriminations. It was the beginning of a total break down: the neurons in my brain began to separate and declare their independence. Suddenly there were too many loops, too many personalities clamoring for attention. Whose attention … I didn’t know. I was beginning to forget everything while I broke apart into new forms and new personalities. At that moment, it hit me: It was “Me” I had to remember. It was the first “Me” -the one who read the sign. But, now it was too late. I had forgotten how to remember.
The man (his name used to be Rod Lunghaven) was at a turning point in his life. He was part of the “Splorch,” a machine rumored to be gifted to humanity by an alien intelligence. It never mattered where the Splorch came from. It was a fact of life, part of the new century, and a controlling factor in the new world order. When the Splorch fist arrived, Rod put up a fight for his independence. He refused to relinquish control over his life, but the machine was insidious. Splorch ate brains with constant messages and commercials. Splorch hypnotized people with “reality” programs and virtual adventures. Splorch provided social networking. Rod was overwhelmed like everyone else, seduced by the color pictures and pretty sounds. Hip-hop played in his brain and altered the Hypocampus. The man, formerly Rod, was at a turning point. He was ensconsed in a Splorch sprocket, turning like a ball bearing or a weather vane in the wind. His life was reduced to ragtag remnants. His memories were corrupted like the hard drive on a computer gone bad. He turned at the turning-point trying to decide which way to go. If he stepped off the sprocket, he would be divorced from the Splorch. A life without an anchor was courting disaster. He dared to remember his name, Rod Lunghaven. It was the beginning of his emancipation. He gave up the addictive seduction of the Splorch to live in a harsh, but free, reality. It was a new beginning.