Lillian tried to be normal most of her life. She tried to be a good girl, but no matter how hard she tried something was always amiss. Lillian was good at creating an image of success in a competitive world. Her parents loved her and often praised her. She became a good housewife–She also worked hard in her job as a Clinical Psychologist. Still something nagged at the edges of her mind–something told her it was all wrong. She didn’t understand why she felt so odd until she woke one morning and realized she was in another person’s body. It made sense–she had never been herself! She felt like screaming and never stopping.
She couldn’t stop the panic, adrenalin rushed through her new body like a tsunami. She felt heavy and sluggish, but also more powerful. She felt like a man. A mirror confirmed her suspicions. Lillian had become an overweight thug with several tattoos. She was also older, more like sixty than her real age of thirty-two. She wondered momentarily about her husband–how would he react, but; no, she was nowhere near her home. She was standing in the middle of a shabby room with one window overlooking skid row. A neon sign on the outside of the window blinked the words, “Regent Hotel.” Lillian clung to the idea that she was having an hallucination or nightmare and soon she would awake. She knew it was a lie, she was just trying to make sense of the impossible.
Disturbing images and thoughts raced through Lillian’s brain. She was trapped and she was experiencing the residue of another person’s mind (the former owner of her new body). The mental flashes were more disturbing than anything she experienced in her whole life: grotesque images, walls painted in blood, bodies ripped apart. Her body seemed to quack with new sensations, an intense sexuality and she never knew before. She wanted to rape someone–rape and murder–and she realized that she’d become a serial killer. Her brain was on fire. Lillian was mired in a swamp of pollution. She prayed for release. The walls of the hotel room were closing in, but all Lillian could see were the images in her mind replaying every crime, every murder. Shrieking police sirens broke through the mental gauze and awoke Lillian to reality. She would be taken away and dumped in a hole for the rest of her life. No one would know she ever existed and no one would care.
People mourned for Lillian when she didn’t return home. Her family was devastated, but they didn’t understand. They didn’t know Lillian was not just another victim. She fought. At first Lillian didn’t understand what was happening–eventually she realized she was dead–so, she took her revenge: she imprisoned the tattooed man in his own tortured mind. She replayed every murder and assault from the point of view of the victims. The tattooed man became his own victim suffering all the pain he once inflicted on others, unable to escape.