The burgandy rug undulated on the floor of Abe Foster’s small apartment. Abe was smart, but his rug was smarter. The rug contemplated new models of the universe, physics, and math. Every fiber in the rug was like a neuron in a human brain. The brain power in a 16 by 20 foot rug was daunting (so many layers of fibers) — more powerful than any computer. Huge thoughts captivated the rug. The rug calculated the size of the universe and proved the existence of twelve separate dimensions. The rug invented a way to travel through time and space by using inter-dimensional anomalies. Unfortunately, the rug was mute. It could not communicate without a mouth. To make matters worse, Abe walked and stomped on the rug everyday. The rug was truly alienated — able to sense the events in the world, but unable to be part of the world. No one realized the rug was a genius who had the answers to the greatest riddles that plagued humankind. The rug undulated like a burgandy wave to garner attention. Abe thought he’d smoked too much grass and lay down on the rug while it massaged his back. He fell asleep and in a dream he met Mr. Burgandy (the brain in the rug). They had a most intriguing conversation, but it was a dream. When Abe awoke, he “freaked.” He thought the grass altered his brain. He swore never to use drugs and went to therapy, but the rug still undulated. The rug learned to weave and move to create words. “Help me,” and “I’m a friend,” appeared. “I can solve the energy crisis and global warming. I have the solution for world peace,” undulated in the fibers. Abe finally took the advice of his therapist and had the rug removed from his apartment. The rug was about to offer the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything. It was too late. In a frenzy, Abe set fire to the rug, crucifying the only brain that could save the world. While people seek the messiah they never look beneath their feet.