The Evolved Election

The “evolved dishwasher” was named Frank.  He had all the charm of a wet sponge, but he had potential.  Frank did not have to work very hard.  He walked and talked like a normal person, which was quite an act for a former dish-washing machine.   People were amazed to see him ramble around on knobby feet that used to be wheels.  He talked with a slight accent as if he were under water.  Frank was popular simply because he was unique.   He didn’t have to be creative or intelligent.   At parties he recited poems about dishwashing detergent.  He got rave reviews.  People were excited just to see Frank, an evolved dishwasher.  Whatever he did was highly esteemed.  No one understood how Frank evolved.  Was he the result of some sort of science project?  No one knew the truth – but it didn’t matter because Frank was a phenomenon, bigger than Lady Gaga.    His paintings, simple swatches on paper, were heralded as masterpieces.   His speeches about “dirty suds” were called “intellectually challenging.”    Frank was an internet phenomenon.  He was a TV personality – a revered guest on several talk shows.   His views on politics were highly respected.  Of course he explained everything as part of a “cycle.”  It made sense to see the world in brighter, cleaner terms.  It made sense to know that scraped-on dirt could be strained through a filter and swept away.   It was a practical solution to all the problems faced by the nation.  Frank ran for Congress in 2018.    It was a clean sweep.  He became President in 2020.    He broke down in 2021 after a piece of dirt got trapped in his drainage pipe.  The country was left soaking in scraped-on dirt.

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