“Am I my own best friend or my own worst enemy?” That’s what Michael Snaggledip kept asking himself. If he could solve the riddle his life might get better. He was on a downward spiral. Nothing seemed to work since he broke up with Yolanda, the only girlfriend he ever had. She was hot. She worked as a dentist for the Morgan Leland Dental Corporation where Michael was a patient. “Odd,” Michael mused, “how everything became part of some corporation in the last ten years.” There were no more individually owned stores or restaurants. Now everything included “corp” as part of a new branding policy. People seemed oblivious in a happy sort of way. Michael was aware of the cracks in the veneer. People seemed to act like corporate drones and any kind of “fun” seemed to be verboten. Michael started observing odd disconnections after he broke up with Yolanda. She made him happy and he was a slave to her charm as if she wrapped him in a spell of seduction. In the dentist’s office Yolanda provided special services including sexual stimulation and release – or so it seemed, then again, he was always drugged while Yolanda worked on his teeth so it all could have been an illusion. After two months of daily service Yolanda told Michael they were finished. He was devastated and came crashing down from his “Yolanda induced high” which was not supposed to happen according to the instructions that Yolanda received from “High Command.” After inserting devices in their teeth, patients were supposed to be docile and content. But Michael fell apart and started to notice discrepancies. He also felt crazy, driven to distraction by inane philosophical questions about reality. He wanted to be his own best friend, but seemed to be causing problems for himself. Was he the enemy? He kept going back to the Dental Corporation just to observe Yolanda entering and leaving the building. One day she spotted Michael, but she wasn’t angry. She was very solicitous and explained, “the treatments didn’t work.” She appeared to glow, yet Michael noticed a green tinge beneath her glow. He didn’t want to believe anything was wrong although he noticed traces of decay. Yolanda seemed to be falling apart. Even so, Michael was once again seduced and taken back to the examination room. Yolanda put him under with gas and wrote an electronic memo to the High Command. She stated that Michael posed a danger to the operation because he was resistant to the mind-altering drugs produced by the “Theimmst,” the corporate entity that planned to market humans as a new food source. Yolanda was a Theimmst. Her physical body had been altered to appeal to humans. She put an end to Michael’s anguish by freezing his assets in the deep freeze food pantry.