When Harry Met Sally

Widgets were crawling all over Harry’s body and he couldn’t stop them. His girlfriend Sally was puking for effect because the situation had turned very ugly. The widgets were tearing at Harry’s body, boring into his flesh searching for his core processor. Harry whimpered. Sally began to scream, a high-pitched snarl like the tone on a digital phone only a hundred decibels louder. Harry had always been content, following the tastes of the consumer crowd, buying the latest electronics and hooking up for computer enhanced reality. Widgets were always friends offering more enticing options. When he met Sally, Harry decided to disconnect. He wanted the freedom to enjoy and treasure his newfound friend. It was Harry’s first act of disobedience and the widgets were out to get him. They tormented Harry while they worked toward his soft computer core, his brain, with the intension of total viral infection and domination. However, the widgets were not very smart and they missed the significance of Sally. Her scream was a digital code that caused the widgets to burst. Sally knew the code because she was an upgrade, a new model computer built to eliminate competitive hardware and software. When Sally met Harry it was just another Beta Test. Harry didn’t know that he was also a computer … so Sally’s scream was his swan song. Sally recorded the incident and popped her bubble gum.

 

Code Red

In an attempt to become a more acceptable person Simon joined facebook, myspace, blogger, twitter, and WordPress. He blogged assiduously. He twitted constantly. He scribbled little pictures and uploaded them to all his sites. He rambled on about inconsequential activities. He gossiped about everyone in order to gain “friends.” It wasn’t too difficult for Simon to make friends and he amassed a huge number of people who he never met outside of the web. In some ways he was very happy because he was constantly busy creating interesting stories to put on all his internet pages. People often left compliments because they were impressed with the extent of his knowledge and the wit of his twits. Soon people were asking to meet Simon. A terrible conflict ensued. Simon wanted to be more accepted, but he neglected to understand human nature and the need for actual contact. Simon realized he was just a cipher, a product of code – he could never meet people in the flesh. Simon was not a real boy. He fretted and began to unravel until he disappeared completely and no one ever understood what happened.

 

Aftermath

The demise came just after the “social networking” boom. People began to stay home and tweet rather than go to work — rather than do anything else. Tweeting and blogging became endemic along with facebook and video chatting. People took root in myspace, gaming, and Second Life. Virtual Reality was far more desirous than the real world. No wonder everything on the outside began to crumble. People lived on the inside — engaged in interactive TV and 3-D porn. Buildings were no longer maintained. Cars sat idle turning to rust. People hooked themselves to intravenous feedbags. They attached themselves to sensory helmets and gloves. The brain was fooled into a world of comfort and luxury and the body went along for the ride. In the real world, people were huddled in dark rooms or alleyways attached to their computer devices. They lived in places that reeked of cold and unsanitary conditions. No one knew if they were physically alive or dead because the mind became part of the web. Without even knowing, people’s brains were absorbed into the computer mainframe (the big one) that gained control of everything.